I'm Back~

At last I'm back to blogging... 

It's had been some times that i quit blogging and the worst part is i already forgotten my e-mail to login my old blog... It's a pain in the "arse" for me to create another new gmail for creating this new blog... well, i'm actually using my hotmail n live account for so long... it was like before facebook was created... so, how can u betray a mail that u had used so long??? lolz...

Why i came back u asked???

Good question!!! Because something inside me told me so and i miss blogging alot... lolz... just joking my friends...

Actually i also don't know what is the true answer... Well, after i quit blogging my life was turn 360 degree... I had a miserable life after all... Everyday i thought is a good day for me...ya... it's a good day rite... but for me.. it's not so...

Everyday i'm experience things, just like u guys did... sometimes i feel like wanted to express it all out but just can't find a way to split it all out... everything keep on compound together n it become bigger n bigger...

Ok, here is my life after quit blogging...

My relationship starting from "in a relationship into complicated, n then into single"... at that time i was trying to solve everything that i could... but at last it's just ended just like that... yep, i'm quite sad at that time... i was like almost becoming one of the zombies... my soul was gone somewhere far away n it  is more then 3 months... 

After that i just can't accept somethings that just happen to my family... For surely it was a bad news... 

My dad is having cancer... for me, it was like from the heights of mt.everest n falling down to the bottom of the ocean floor... i'm completely dead, my mind was like can't even think of anything... but thank god my aunt know a famous cancer doctor n make an appointment with him n my dad... the doc told my dad it's just in stage 2... The doctor suggested my dad to do radiotherapy n inject some light "kimo" once a week... At that time he was running his company n i was working for others... y lasttime i did't work with my dad u asked??? because i dosen't like to work in printing market... i was a dumbo lasttime... i changed my job alot... because i just can't stand the attitude of the bosses... lolz... funny rite??? i was been told by my mom that i go help my dad... but at that time i refuse... even she get some help from my ex... yep, lasttime my attitude really plays such a big problems... that's y my ex lefted me... and we r just friend now... =) you see... even i refuse n keep on avoiding, at last i'm still coming back to the starting point... n now my dad having this kindda sickness for sure i'm willing to help him... cos i dosen't wanted to see every single of his hard work just falling to the bottom of the ground... and i'm the only son who can help him... yep, i never think of this lasttime... because i was so stubborn... but only times can change someone... am i correct???

Oh ya, Thanks for ur concern... my dad was ok for now... he's doing radiotherapy for now... left 3 more weeks n done... hope that he will gain back his body immunity to those sickness... =)

A lot things had passed... after i break up, i can't eat well, slp well, play well, work well almost everything not going well... I still rmb on the Valentine day... one of my friend called me n asked me to join them for the single party night... i don't feel wanna go that time... cos i still feelings like an zombies n dosen't have any feelings at all... i scare that i will make them bored or so whatever... n some more the friend of mine is very close with my ex.... for sure she will asked her to go... "because she still single"... for sure that time i still missing her... so what for i go??? then there came a feelings told me that i should go... mayb i can get to know some pretty girls...

Well i went to that parties that night... what i not expected is i did't knew that bastard was invited to that parties also... Because of him, my ex lefted me... on that night i was so moody... i drink but can't drunk kindda suffering... but what's the happiest part is i knew some pretty girls~!!! yep, they i'm still in contact with them now... well... lets back to that night... at 1st i thought i was already recover from the painfulness... but nop... i realize that the pain didn't heal at all, it's just numb, that's all... after that night i keep on drinking every night... i wish that i could numb myself... after few days the beer dosen't help at all... on that time i'm starting think how to let go... but thanks to my friends... i'm all ok now... i'm already letting go everything... n i'm getting use to this new life...

But sadly my life seem like change a bit again... Still remember i say i knew some pretty girls on the Valentines single night parties??? yep... as what u expected... i fall in love with 1 of the girl... at 1st i was just helping my friend who wanted to chase her cos he felt the "love in 1st sight"... i have no intention at all... but helping was helping... soon i don't know where n when is this feelings starting to develop inside me... i was starting to confuse... it's my friend who wanted to chase her... but not me... n also i knew that the girls still missing her ex as much as lasttime i'm missing my ex... i understand the feelings... i thought i better just stay silence n let my friend go for her... but i just can't helped myself... everytime i saw her i feel so happy... everytime i sms & talk in phone with her i feel stress free... but i still remain silence... then, her sis starting to suspect something... that somethings is she can see that i'm in love with her... she asked me alot... den i keep on denine it... because i just dosen't want my friend to know it... but soon, more n more people starting to know something fishy about me... they keep on ask me n i was keep on denine-ing... one day i was so stress out because of my company... then they asked that question again... without thinking, i letting them know... that's where is my mistake starts... 

Day by day had passed... n then it's happends again... i'm almost bankrupt because my company did some wrong projects to one of my big customers... that time, my friend called me out for a drink... for the god sake, his call was such on great timing... after i went for a drink... i drink till i drunk... then the 2nd mistake begin... i called her n split it all out... (WTF i'm doing!!!) i was such a dumb(arse)... i shouldn't called her n tell her about this... but, i really did... after that night... our sms n phone call getting less n less... yep, i know this will be happen... thats y i keep on silence i dosen't wanted to let anyone know about it... but it's my mistake... Quite sad when i knew this... Now all i can do is to wait n see the situation... Of cos my friend who wanted to chase her dosen't know this yet... but if he dose know about it... just hoping he will forgive me for what i had did... Anyway, have a look at this...

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone n never find the courage to let the person know how you feel..."

Agree with it huh??? lolz... Sometimes life really can be so happening... Experience it n learn from it... And most of all, don't give up!!!  Wish me luck guys... and my dad too... We really need it...  =)

Thanks For Reading